That trip in the summer of 2010 most definitely was the "trip of a lifetime". The impact all of it had on my life is still felt today and I am so grateful for it. Was it the riding? The sights? The events? The people? Well sure, in some respects all of those were good things...
But more than anything, what I am grateful for was the things that were revealed to me through that trip and because of that trip.
The most amazing and wonderful thing that I came to understand and recognize from that trip stemmed from looking around and being aware of the evolving circumstances around me while wondering, "What's the bright side in this?" and "If everything happens for a reason, what is the reason behind this?" (and if you have NOT read through this blog as many now visiting it won't have, you're welcome to go back to the beginning (http://usabyk1300r.blogspot.ca/2010/04/sitting-planning-waiting-wishing.html)... but this post is of far greater importance - although I suppose the past story from the trip will give the context).
Surely if you have been reading through this blog you saw me comment on those very "belief" ideas. Of no coincidence, I'd been reminded of those mindsets only briefly before the trip had begun. I'd known of them before and considered them from time to time but setting out on that trip, I genuinely permitted them to affect how I looked at things.
You see, because of the trip as a whole and due to some major events that occurred, each of which having seemingly been strung together from circumstances of greater and greater consequence, it was revealed to me gradually that indeed, everything DOES happen for a reason...
Firstly was the young woman in Eureka, California on her way to tragically take her own life, and whom I was placed before to stop her... (more about this later)
Then there was the incredible Death Valley sunrise I was able to see only because I was at a vantage point on a stretch of road clear of the rocky hills behind me and the sunken road in front of me. And the only reason I'd arrived when I had was due to the lengthy chain of seemingly inconsequential events the day and night before...
Lastly, having my motorcycle safely breakdown while parked at a curb outside a coffee shop caused me to miss my first ever Major League Baseball game (Toronto Blue Jays), which resulted in the far more important act of meeting and consoling the grieving mother of an acquaintance who had died in an auto-accident only a short time before. And yet, I was able to do this and have my bike repaired rapidly on a day the shop was closed and still make it to the next destination in that journey on time...
I'd already been asking myself by that point in the trip if what we know as 'fate' truly existed. How everything worked out that day in Toronto was a fairly significant alarm bell. Something was quite apparently guiding that day for the purpose of offering comfort to someone who was in pain and whom surely cried out, "Help me..."
Incredibly enough, as loud as the bells were ringing, it was not until the last leg from Edmonton to my home that the uncanny complexity of the events falling together spoke to me as beyond coincidence. While at my bike-shop in Edmonton where I had some post-trip work done I'd asked about the part that had failed in Toronto and whether warranty would cover it. The mechanic pointed out the evidence on my motorcycle that I'd gone down and slid at some point and that that had done the damage to the part which failed in Toronto. Such a thing was obviously not covered by warranty. At the time I was too upset to recognize what this TRULY meant...
And so while riding home to Fort McMurray I would first think back in agitation that the small part worth hundreds of dollars was not covered. But then my mind would be led into pondering how a very slow slide on the left side of my bike could put just enough tension on my shift lever so that the precise amount of torque could be applied to the thin, aluminum, connecting rod in the actuator for my shift-assist in order for it to break at just the right moment - a SAFE moment - while parked outside the coffee shop in order to interrupt my selfish schedule to compassionately serve another person.
Please let me make this clear which I did not in my concluding post to the trip (although I did refer to this as the "realizations, the epiphanies, the lessons"); I'd gone down on a race track during a riding school in May of 2010. Some 17,000 kilometers later and tens of thousands of gear shifts later, after innumerable vibrations from the RPM's of my engine, through heat, rain, dryness, humidity; areas of ruggedness and areas that were smooth; periods where I used my bike which meant more shifting, and periods where I DID NOT use my bike which meant no shifting... the shifter broke while safely parked at a curb outside a coffeehouse so I would be enabled to offer comfort to a grieving person who had surely cried out, "Help". One downward application of the shifter earlier would have been as I'd arrived at the coffeeshop and rather than post a blog for an hour and a half or so, I would have called the tow company immediately and probably had everything remedied for me to continue following my selfish itinerary of attending the baseball game and think no more of a person in need... One downward application of the shifter later and I would have been in traffic and with how my foot fell down to pavement, perhaps I would have been injured? Probably not...
Nevertheless, it broke at the most perfect of times. Not thousands of shifts earlier or even dozens, nor later, but right then, at that curb, on that morning around 11am when it was absolutely necessary, needed, and planned...
And so I've come to realize absolutely, that there is no chance and that "everything does happen for a reason".
But more importantly, I now know with every fiber of my being that this intricate planning that chains events together and guides circumstances for good is from a sentient and all-powerful, infinitely wise mind... and that this is not the cause of a faceless, nameless, unknowable and totally mystical force we've mistaken as whimsical 'fate'... But it is the result of the soveriegnty and authority of an infinitely powerful God who exists outside of the dimensions of both time and space and sees and knows all things from the beginning to the end, and is very much involved in each and everyone of our lives, wanting to show us great and abundant love and mercy and grace, so that we can have a hope, and true joy, and real meaning while we rest in His unconditional love, being gifted with eternal life through our saving and revelatory knowledge of Himself...
Dear reader... I confess I embarked on that trip with lenses I saw the world through which greatly misled me and I was deceived. I chased worldly pleasures in all sorts of forms, and I searched for meaning where none could be found. And under the influence of Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, a mid-20th century psychiatrist and philospher who wrote about our society's struggle of existensialism [the internal battle for the meaning of existence in one's life] in the wrongfully acclaimed, "Man's Search for Meaning", I tried inventing my meaning... which is why that trip had started off with me pursuing an entrepreneurial endeavor of a sport-bike touring company (which I thank this mighty and good God for graciously bringing me to understand during the trip that it was NOT a good and worthy pursuit). And so I was causing pain to myself... pain to others... and pain to the very heart of God.
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
Matthew 22:37-40
You see, God has made us for Himself, to have relationship with Him, and for our very lives to bring great glory to Him. You are not just a fleshly body... More real than that is the true YOU - the spirit God created special within. And oh yes, no matter who you are and what the world has said about you with its false set of standards which we've been tricked into using to attribute worth to others and to ourselves, know this; GOD has made you unique, and special, there is none like you and there will never be another like you because an infinitely creative and loving God made you...
"For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well."
Psalm 139:13-14
He has made you for an eternal relationship with Him and as He is eternal and our spirits are eternal, we need eternal LIFE so that we can reside with Him. But eternal life is not something that begins when we die, no... Eternal Life begins for our spirit right here and now the moment you believe and know Him...
"And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent."
John 17:3
But why send His Son?
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him."
John 3:16-17
Do you feel condemned, friend? You shouldn't. But like me you probably have felt a deep-seated anxiousness - one that has caused you discomfort which you've wanted to run from. But no matter how far you run, it comes back, doesn't it? So like I did you tried to smother it or quiet it or distract yourself through costly things and extravagant trips and pleasure and busyness, haven't you? I know I did. I did for years!
But then God by His grace drew me to Himself through all of those circumstances and I grew closer and closer to Him and surrendered my life to Him and through this faith He gifted me with His Holy Spirit joined with mine, and in me He created a hunger for His Word and an understanding of it. And so I've learnt that what I'd been feeling was not condemnation by a God of mercy, but of conviction because I knew in my deepest being that I had done so much wrong in my life and had caused hurt to so many people and even grieved the very heart of an all-powerful God.
But then God by His grace drew me to Himself through all of those circumstances and I grew closer and closer to Him and surrendered my life to Him and through this faith He gifted me with His Holy Spirit joined with mine, and in me He created a hunger for His Word and an understanding of it. And so I've learnt that what I'd been feeling was not condemnation by a God of mercy, but of conviction because I knew in my deepest being that I had done so much wrong in my life and had caused hurt to so many people and even grieved the very heart of an all-powerful God.
"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God..."
Ephesians 4:30
God does not cause that disturbance within us out of spite or hate, but out of LOVE. He is a Heavenly Father, and like a good and perfect Father He is only warning us with that feeling, "Stop... come to me to be cleansed and made righteous and turn from your ways which are not my ways and cause harm to yourself, to Me, and to others..."
If reading of what God has done for you causes you grief for your past sins as it surely has for mine, that is a good thing.
"And when the Spirit comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: concerning sin, because they do not believe in me"
John 16:8-9
If you have trouble imagining God as a 'perfect Father' because of the letdowns of your human, and very fallible earthly father who is certainly not all-wise and all-powerful, please think deeply on the following...
"For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in."
Psalm 27:10
"I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you."
Jeremiah 31:3
I hope that helps you understand more about who this Father is... Just as stated above, eternal life is found in belief in Jesus Christ. It is a sin not to truly believe in Him, and so in that there is no life...
"...the wages of sin is death..."
Romans 6:23
We could go through the Ten Commandments and list off all the other "Shall not's" and "Shall's" in the bible, but being honest with yourself, if the Greatest Commandments encompass ALL of the Law, and they are "Love God and Love everyone else"...
"...all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..."
Romans 3:23
None of us meet the perfect standard of righteousness which is found in God alone. None of us have perfectly loved Him, and none of us have perfectly loved anyone else or even our selves... We can never measure up because God is infinite in His goodness in righteousness. That means that no matter how much good we do in this life time, that infinite gap between our humanly goodness and His goodness continues to expand without ending... And even if we've done only one thing wrong, that one little thing is enough to separate us from a God in whom no evil can be found - again, the ever expanding gap between Himself and yourself.
"...the LORD is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him."
Psalm 92:15
"We have all become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment.
"We all fade like a leaf,
and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away."
Psalm 64:6
All of us will agree that true genuine justice is a GOOD thing. We feel an inherit NEED for justice when someone wrongs us, and especially when someone wrongs someone we love - We DEMAND justice!
And yet, with ourselves, be it with a speeding ticket or even the severity of a death penalty for a hideous crime... we beg for and plead for and hope for mercy. Forgiveness. A pardon.
God desperately WANTS us to be pardoned; He OFFERS us forgiveness. He WANTS to show us mercy...
But for Him to be infallible and GOOD, not as a characteristic of who He is but by His very nature of being good, He MUST be just and deal out justice.
"God is a righteous judge, and a God who feels indignation every day."
Psalm 7:11
God is rightfully indignant to your sin. He HATES it. He hates how it hurts others. He hates how it hurts you. He hates how it goes against Him. He can't even keep Himself from this indignation against it because just is who He is. And so He must judge you for it and as we've established, we've all been separated from Him by our sin and the penalty is to die mortally in this life and enter eternity apart from Him; apart from Him in whom all goodness and all beauty and all creativity and all wisdom is found...
"...God is love."
1 John 4:8
To be separated from eternity from that which is good is to be in Hell. That is the just judgment promised for all who will not repent and believe.
"From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”
Matthew 4:17
So we see that God clearly does not want you to suffer that awful punishment. He wants you to have eternal life through your belief in Him.
"The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise [of judgment] as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance."
2 Peter 3:9
And so that God could maintain His rightful justice which is of His very nature, He had to make a way for Justice to be served but for a ransom for you and I and everyone to be offered... But our punishment is a heavy one - eternal. No mere man or created being, no matter how perfect and sinless and righteous, can die for another. Nor would they certainly be able to die for another and then Rise again to eternal life themselves. No my friend, dear reader, they would have to be infinitely powerful... and infinitely righteous themselves... Which is why God Himself was born clean and free of the sin nature within us that you and all of mankind are born with since our first parents sinned - the reason for the supernatural and miraculous 'virgin birth'. Yes, He was born as Jesus, the Christ child... 'the Word'...
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life... And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth."
John 1:1-4,14
"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."
John 15:13
Yet were we even 'friends' with God, what with all of our sin and grief we placed upon Him by our unrighteousness??
"For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life."
Romans 5:7-10
My friend, Jesus Christ knew His mission while on this earth. But He wanted to glorify the Father by His sacrifice, and its powerful means to reconcile us to the Father. He understood that His life was being given in exchange for ours...
"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Mark 10:45
... and that He was taking the punishment we deserve to have poured out on us when He died on the cross...
"He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world."
1 John 2:2
... and live the righteous and sinless life we could never possibly live...
"For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."
2 Corinthians 5:21
... and then He was raised on the third day, conquering death to take His rightful place on the throne of Heaven and Earth.
"For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures..."
1 Corinthians 15:3-4
You were created by God to know Him and love Him and clearly by what God has done, you are of great value to Him.
"...for you were bought with a price."
1 Corinthians 6:10
And what an infinitely painful price that was for the Heavenly Father who for the first time in eternity was separated from the Son because of OUR sin which causes such separation, even though He paid it in full by His blood and then overcame it! Praise God!
I pray that you have believed this thus far... But it can be hard for some of us. Often we must allow ourselves to believe it - let it sift through our hearts and our spirit. It's unusual because our spirits already know a little of this Truth... yet we've spent so much time living in our sinful self-serving flesh that our hearts are hardened to its truthful goodness. One of the difficulties can be our own pride and strong sense of self-justification - to say we are not wrong... or even "not that bad." That is the natural prideful nature within us. And it is a barrier to God working in us to help us believe.
“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
James 4:6
So we can humble ourselves willfully by just getting on our knees and bowing down and declaring He is Lord... or in time in gradual stages. One powerful way is to give thanks to the One who gives us all things. Our breath, our energy, our life, our abilities; none of that would we have to even do our jobs to make the money to afford the things we want to believe we earned for ourselves.
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."
James 1:17
"...give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
1 Thessalonians 5:18
"...giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,"
Ephesians 5:20
It's true... and it works. The more I prayed silently and joyfully in my head to God for everything I got or had been given during that trip and after, the more He revealed Himself to me. He will do the same for you.
"...whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."
Hebrews 11:6
Yes, He surely does reward faith. What is faith?
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
Hebrews 11:1
Another thing that gets in our way is a hardness of heart - a bitterness towards others... or towards God Himself...
"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,"
Matthew 6:14
If you don't forgive those who have wronged you, your hard heart will prohibit you from growing faith in God and then He will not be able to give you eternal life and true forgiveness for your sins...
"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil."
Ephesians 4:26-27
Yes, the devil is very much real. He is not an imaginary figure or a metaphor for evil. He's a sentient being of incredible power. Once an angel, the head of angels assigned to give God praise for His majesty, as the crowning achievement in all of creation whether on earth or in heaven, pride grew within himself and he saw himself as beautiful and glorious... And so he sought to "set his throne above the throne of God" and a number of angels joined him in rebellion. Their plan was folly as God is all-knowing and all-powerful and can not be defeated. It is hard for us to understand, but this is why God permits evil in the world - to show time and again that He is far superior and more powerful than the devil who is constantly trying to harm HIM by causing hurt to us.(Isaiah 14, Ezekiel 28, etc)
"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."
1 Peter 5:8
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy."
John 10:10
I am deeply sorry that you have been hurt... We all have in different levels and in different ways. But understand that it also hurts the heart of God when the enemy and others harm us or even when we cause harm to ourselves. Considering that He knows and feels at infinitely deep depths means that He truly felt the pain you've gone through, go through, and will go through. He is far more involved in your life than you can begin to imagine. Your pain and suffering is not fun for Him.
However, He does not always let it happen, but in His wisdom and in His love, He does allow it to happen sometimes (far less often than it naturally should considering how wicked this world we live in is if everything truly was left to random chance and probability...).
Remember the young woman from Eureka who was walking towards the California coast to end her own life, but whom God had placed me before to stop??? I reread that part in that old blog-post and I noticed something I'd long since forgotten - in fact, every time I've retold this story for nearly 5 years now about how our good and amazing God intervened on her behalf, I've told people she was clutching a journal... But that's not what she was holding so close to her heart - She was so dearly holding a bible...!
You see friends, our good Lord and Saviour was looking out for one of His own little sheep that night who'd wandered astray, no doubt battling the evil taunts and whisperings of demonic spirits telling her things like, "I'm awful!", "I'm WORTHLESS!!!", "No ONE loves me!!!", "GOD DOESN'T EVEN WANT ME!!!", "I should just kill myself... it's the easiest way out" "I'll just walk down to the water and do it... It'll be peaceful." Perhaps you've heard such things? Of course until now you believed that was just you and your 'negative self-esteem' at work... No, although we do have our own subconscious, and we do have our own internal monologue and we certainly have what's been coined a 'self-esteem' (or id or ego)... there is far more at work, and our mind is the gateway that connects our spirit and the supernatural realm to our body here in the physical realm. That's so our spirit and who we truly are can feel and sense what our physical body is interacting with. This is why God created our brains to be so vastly technical along with all of the neurological chemicals which tell our bodies what to feel emotionally as they coincide with what our spirit is feeling. But the mind is so often the battleground for the forces that oppose us.
That night, the Lord acted as He does so often and He shifted circumstances and guided the footsteps of people while gently influencing and altering their plans so that a person could be saved - all without forcing anyone's 'free will'! Only an infinitely powerful God could guide all things WHILE permitting free will!
That night He did so for a little lost sheep, perhaps originally from His flock? Or perhaps someone - like you - that He is calling to His flock... (here's a parable that speaks volumes on this: Luke 15:1-7. Here's another that depicts the heart of the Heavenly Father for the lost: Luke 15:11-32). Anyway, I was totally amazed when I reread that and saw that tiny but monumental detail I'd forgotten for far too long... It's possible that the grieving mother had also cried out in prayers to God for Him to comfort her... Although it's just as likely that He moved first because He saw her grief. Come to think of it, God being God could very well have orchestrated everything that led up to me venturing off on that trip in the first place so that I would be yet another person who gave her a moment's respite...
In regards to 'free will' or choice I just mentioned, God gave it to us so that we can choose to freely love Him or not - which is the essence of what true love is... But all of us exercise our free will to sin and hurt others - some more than others, and some in ways more obvious and shocking to us.
However, He does not always let it happen, but in His wisdom and in His love, He does allow it to happen sometimes (far less often than it naturally should considering how wicked this world we live in is if everything truly was left to random chance and probability...).
Remember the young woman from Eureka who was walking towards the California coast to end her own life, but whom God had placed me before to stop??? I reread that part in that old blog-post and I noticed something I'd long since forgotten - in fact, every time I've retold this story for nearly 5 years now about how our good and amazing God intervened on her behalf, I've told people she was clutching a journal... But that's not what she was holding so close to her heart - She was so dearly holding a bible...!
You see friends, our good Lord and Saviour was looking out for one of His own little sheep that night who'd wandered astray, no doubt battling the evil taunts and whisperings of demonic spirits telling her things like, "I'm awful!", "I'm WORTHLESS!!!", "No ONE loves me!!!", "GOD DOESN'T EVEN WANT ME!!!", "I should just kill myself... it's the easiest way out" "I'll just walk down to the water and do it... It'll be peaceful." Perhaps you've heard such things? Of course until now you believed that was just you and your 'negative self-esteem' at work... No, although we do have our own subconscious, and we do have our own internal monologue and we certainly have what's been coined a 'self-esteem' (or id or ego)... there is far more at work, and our mind is the gateway that connects our spirit and the supernatural realm to our body here in the physical realm. That's so our spirit and who we truly are can feel and sense what our physical body is interacting with. This is why God created our brains to be so vastly technical along with all of the neurological chemicals which tell our bodies what to feel emotionally as they coincide with what our spirit is feeling. But the mind is so often the battleground for the forces that oppose us.
That night, the Lord acted as He does so often and He shifted circumstances and guided the footsteps of people while gently influencing and altering their plans so that a person could be saved - all without forcing anyone's 'free will'! Only an infinitely powerful God could guide all things WHILE permitting free will!
That night He did so for a little lost sheep, perhaps originally from His flock? Or perhaps someone - like you - that He is calling to His flock... (here's a parable that speaks volumes on this: Luke 15:1-7. Here's another that depicts the heart of the Heavenly Father for the lost: Luke 15:11-32). Anyway, I was totally amazed when I reread that and saw that tiny but monumental detail I'd forgotten for far too long... It's possible that the grieving mother had also cried out in prayers to God for Him to comfort her... Although it's just as likely that He moved first because He saw her grief. Come to think of it, God being God could very well have orchestrated everything that led up to me venturing off on that trip in the first place so that I would be yet another person who gave her a moment's respite...
In regards to 'free will' or choice I just mentioned, God gave it to us so that we can choose to freely love Him or not - which is the essence of what true love is... But all of us exercise our free will to sin and hurt others - some more than others, and some in ways more obvious and shocking to us.
However... because God already knows the beginning from the end...
"...we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28
This is an amazing truth. I've seen it in my life and it is true in the lives of so many others who have given their lives over to God. You see, to show all the earth and all of heaven that HE alone is God and HE alone is all-wise, He will take the most devastating events in the world or afflictions in any one life, and turn them for His good and His glory. And if we partake in this by submitting to Him in faith and in reverence, it will glorify us too. And that is His purpose in it...
"For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers."
Romans 8:29
I know it may seem hard to believe, but remember?... You must have faith in Him and His Word and that will be rewarded :) There are SO MANY testimonies out there that you can find, especially on YouTube, of people going through the most difficult trials and all of it being redeemed by the God who is the only True redeemer. I pray this helps you to humble your heart against others and against God and allow Him to love you so you can start to love Him back in eternal life.
It is impossible to develop that faith apart from God as we've already stated, but here is also why it can be so difficult for so many:
"In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God."
2 Corinthians 4:4
Notice the little 'g'?? The wannabe 'god' of this world is satan. And he has been watching people relate since the beginning of mankind and he knows how we operate and is far superior to us and craftier than us and has devised system upon system upon system in this world to keep us blind from the goodness of God, denying the Truth. Just think of how it's him who causes so much of the death and destruction in our lives, and yet we blame God?
I know what you're thinking... Many have thought it and I've thought it too; Why doesn't He put an end to the devil?! Yes, God will put an end to the devil...
"...and the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever."
Revelation 20:10
I know it seems like it's not soon enough, but He is fulfilling all His prophecies and bringing this cosmic drama to an end in a way as we've already stated will show all of creation that they must never rebel against God, and that they CAN NOT.
"To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord..."
Ephesians 3:8-11
Yes, the devil and his authorities in the heavenly realm are seeing the unfolding of this incredible plan involving the 'church' (ἐκκλησία, ekklēsia - Greek, for the "called out" people) conceived before time began. And the fullness of this completeness will be when Christ returns to gather those who would humbly believe and are righteous through that faith. He will wipe out everything and everyone else that has rebelled and not accepted whatever Truth was graciously provided them. It will however be a horrendous period where all looks hopeless for God and His people. This victory though, will until then seem uncertain even though it has already been decided at the cross because the world will become more and more evil and distant from the commands of God and proper belief in Him. And then with great power Jesus Christ will instantly turn the tide and defeat the enemy.
His Heavenly Kingdom will manifest itself on the new earth and all who believed will be reunited and those who refused to submit to the Lordship of Jesus in spite of His unconditional love and grand gestures to show that love, will remain apart from Him and receive exactly what they demonstrated they want with this life: No relationship with God - eternal separation. Hell. I pray that no one will make such a choice. But it is a choice. If people love their sin more than God and others, they will HATE heaven! Why would they want to be there? That's why we NEED to be born again by God through humble faith and humility; so that we will LOVE righteousness and LOVE God, and be ready and willing to bow before Him. Heaven will be inconceivably wonderful for those that do...
His Heavenly Kingdom will manifest itself on the new earth and all who believed will be reunited and those who refused to submit to the Lordship of Jesus in spite of His unconditional love and grand gestures to show that love, will remain apart from Him and receive exactly what they demonstrated they want with this life: No relationship with God - eternal separation. Hell. I pray that no one will make such a choice. But it is a choice. If people love their sin more than God and others, they will HATE heaven! Why would they want to be there? That's why we NEED to be born again by God through humble faith and humility; so that we will LOVE righteousness and LOVE God, and be ready and willing to bow before Him. Heaven will be inconceivably wonderful for those that do...
"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.
"And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”
Revelation 21:1-8
A person can have hope that all the bad will end. I hope you will permit yourself that hope. This world is not very good and it is certainly not all there is or will be. So even though you may struggle with believing He exists, humbly ask Him to help you believe and then believe. Then go into His Word, the Holy Bible, starting in the New Testament so that you can see who He is as He's revealed Himself through Jesus Christ and through the Scriptures. And just remember to be humble so that He will not oppose you but reward you with faith and grace...
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."
Ephesians 2:8-9
God will share His glory with no one. He IS God after all. So none of us will boast that we saved ourselves or found God on our own. No, it is He alone that woos us and made the way and by His Holy Spirit gives us the faith to believe, and no work on our part will give us any credit.
If reading of what God has done for you causes you grief for your past sins as it surely has for mine, that is a good thing.
"For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death."
2 Corinthians 7:10
"Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"
Romans 2:4
Repentance is also a work of the Holy Spirit in us.
"Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” ...Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
John 3:3,5-8
To be "born again" is to be born from above by the Spirit and by the Living Water, Christ. We've all had a fleshly birth, but we need to be spiritually 'reborn'. That is a tranformational work that can only be done by God. Again, no work we do helps so that we can not boast. The glory is His alone. Repentance means to "turn away; change our mind; change our heart". It means you recognize that your sin is awful and you turn from it and no longer want to partake in it. This is good news because who of us can become perfect before going to God?? Nope, none of us. We get to go to Him with all of our baggage, and then humbly accept and believe the gospel of His substitutionary death for us, for His rising again, and that He is coming again to establish His kingdom fully... and then He supernaturally begins working in our lives changing our hearts and our minds about the ways of this world.
"And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."
Ezekiel 36:26
Also take the following into account:
"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."
Philippians 2:5-8
Yes, He did this for us... not even the equivalent of you or I becoming a slug to die at the hands of slugs, for HE is infinitely greater than we are when we compare ourselves to slugs...
Understanding what God has done for us, that He humbled Himself and took on our weak form, then died an agonizing and humiliating death on a cross at the hands of the very people He came to save, being separated for a time from the Father because we have sinned... how should that make you feel about your sin???
Yes... you should feel within your spirit a supernatural desire to admit you were wrong and turn from it... "Repent"...
And when you consider that HE bought you with a price - even though it was a FREE GIFT - what should you feel you should do with your life that was purchased? Although you who believe are now free from the penalty of sin in eternal death, is there anything in you that wants to give that love back to Christ? To see Him as rightful Lord of your life?
"On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords."
Revelation 19:16
I know personally... I look at my old life, and I am so thankful... God paid for my life, and so I give it freely to Him, although it is sometimes difficult because I am still in this fleshly body awaiting the new 'resurrection' body for my eternal occupation in the new Heaven and Earth. Nevertheless, if we believe and are 'born again' by the Spirit of God, we will supernaturally repent from living a life where we sit on our own throne as rulers of self... or take down anything or anyone else that is on our throne... so that the Lord can take His rightful place in our lives. Do not fear His rulership over you; He is not a harsh and awful tyrant. He is a loving King who's judgments are wise, provisions are rich, and purpose for you is good.
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment..."
1 John 4:18
If you have believed, there IS no longer any punishment to fear. It is true though... there will be difficulties in your life even if you believe in Him and follow Him...
But the Lord Jesus Christ warned us of this...
Truly, He HAS overcome the world. His resurrection proved to the disciples He taught in the first century that He truly was of God, the Messiah - their 'deliverer' - and witnessing that reality coupled with the power of the Holy Spirit that filled them, they were able to boldly share the Good News of the Gospel all over the known world, even to the point of martyrdom... If you too are become born again, that same Spirit they had resides in you!
What a force! An unconquerable force!
And if you go through pain and suffering and heartache EVEN though you've chosen to follow the King, know this truth:
He truly will be there and He shares in your pain because His omniscience makes Him able to feel all that you will feel. So be brave IN Him despite your enemies and challenges...
And when those pains and trials come;
No pain you have undergone or will be faced with will be wasted. Every last drop can be used to grow you and better you and help save others, and all of it will be used for the glory of God.
Eternal life and dwelling with God in Heaven and on Earth will be a great reward.
That's right, there is NO favourtism with God. Anyone from anywhere at anytime can be saved. But none of us can save ourselves by keeping the Law of the Commandments because as we've already established, all of us sin and none of us is righteous...
“A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for the disciple to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebul, how much more will they malign those of his household."
Matthew 10:24-25
But the Lord Jesus Christ warned us of this...
"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33
Truly, He HAS overcome the world. His resurrection proved to the disciples He taught in the first century that He truly was of God, the Messiah - their 'deliverer' - and witnessing that reality coupled with the power of the Holy Spirit that filled them, they were able to boldly share the Good News of the Gospel all over the known world, even to the point of martyrdom... If you too are become born again, that same Spirit they had resides in you!
"Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."
1 John 4:4
What a force! An unconquerable force!
"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Romans 8:31
And if you go through pain and suffering and heartache EVEN though you've chosen to follow the King, know this truth:
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted..."
Psalm 34:18
"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6
And when those pains and trials come;
"...consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."
Romans 8:18
No pain you have undergone or will be faced with will be wasted. Every last drop can be used to grow you and better you and help save others, and all of it will be used for the glory of God.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11
Eternal life and dwelling with God in Heaven and on Earth will be a great reward.
"This would be my comfort;
I would even exult in pain unsparing,
for I have not denied the words of the Holy One."
Job 6:10
Don't deny Him and you will receive that reward.
What's so incredible about eternal life with God which begins now is that the rewards are not all withheld until we leave these mortal bodies and enter our resurrected bodies. No! There is so much now! That meaning of life we look for, it's found in Him, and plays out in serving Him and thus serving others;
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
Ephesians 2:10
Can you even imagine how amazing it might be to do "good works" that God HIMSELF, who is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent has thought up and preplanned before the foundations of the world?! Oh some of the things I have done have made my spirits sing!!! I would never have pictured doing them before! The joy I've felt from encouraging others and serving others and praying for others and walking alongside people... It has been so wonderful! And He ceases to amaze me and even now more doors are being opened to me which are so incredible and honestly beyond my earthly comprehension!
"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. ...As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."
John 15:4-5, 8-11
Yes, through humble submission to the Lord, and the keeping of God's commandments, we are in communion with God and we will feel His love. Not only that, but the power of the Holy Spirit will flow through us, changing us, and out of us, showing others that we are in Christ! These things are the 'bearing of fruit' talked about, and that is TRUEST joy! Full meaning!!!
"...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Galatians 5:22-23
For YEARS I chased so many worldly pursuits to fill myself up and NONE could satisfy! It has only been God alone who has satisfied me!
"Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.""
John 6:35
"The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot."
Psalm 16:5
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."
John 10:10
Incredibly, and contrary to what the world has told us, following Jesus Christ is NOT boring and devoid of pleasure. It is actually so exciting both naturally and supernaturally! Yes, pleasure can be had, and so can fun, and so can fulfillment!! BUT, no longer will those things hurt you, or hurt others, or hurt the heart of God... That is wonderful! As your relationship with the Lord grows in understanding and intimacy and closeness, He will even change that which you wish to do!
"Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:4
And if we do fall to temptation and stumble into sin, yes we are not abiding in Christ and yes, we will not feel the love of God, and no we will not be able to bear fruit... but;
"The steps of a man are established by the LORD, And He delights in his way, though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand."
Psalm 37:23-24
and...
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9
Even when we don't feel God's love (and we won't when we're sinning against Him), He still loves us unconditionally... He already proved it at the cross. Imagine that... even though God who is outside of time sees all of our wretched sin, because He IS love, He acts out of that love, humbly entering our space and time, not as a powerful king carried by men and escorted by vast armies... but as a frail little baby in a feeding trough born to a modest couple in poverty, who would raise him to be a meager carpenter. Where else can you get such an unconditional love? Not from any mere mortal, that's for certain. No, sadly we people can be rather fickle, even when we've 'vowed' to love someone "til death do us part". Only God alone offers the TRUE unconditional love that you have been seeking your whole life. Putting that expectation on any other human is too much of a burden on them, and is such a strain on relationships and the reason most fail and those that don't have so many problems.
Remember our brief discussion on anxiousness? Recall that it was at the very root caused by our Spirit knowing that we are not in union of God and that His rightful judgment is awaiting us? Well when you believe you will have TRUE peace - yes, the "inner peace" so many of us are looking for (and in so many wrong places). It does not have to be a cliche.
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:7
That also works wonders during a trial because you KNOW in your very being that no matter what happens to you, you have eternal life and that even the very end of this life will have little significance in comparison with an existence in Heaven that does not cease. This relationship with God even helps against personal insecurity because of this foreknowing of the new life to come after the mortal death. What does it matter if people don't think much of you when life is "but a vapor" and before too long you will be in eternity? And again, our intrinsic worth was established at the cross and this ALSO gives us a great boldness. If no one loves us but the Lord God Himself loves us, that is more than enough!
I can attest to all these things. The last few years following God through a supernatural relationship with Christ Jesus has been awesome. Oh yes, there have been very difficult struggles (I mean, there is a real enemy after all and him and his force hate that I serve the One True God and introduce others to Him), but God has seen me through all of those struggles (and even out of a few others...).
The 'coincidences of significance' that I witnessed which led me to believe so strongly in the Lord... I still see those all of the time as God's mighty hand works around me preparing my way for His glory. God has answered my prayers in ways that are so far from mathematically possible if left to probability and chance alone that it's beyond certainty that He is listening and He does care for me. What a comfort! I've even been privy to a couple miraculous healings as well. This God I serve is so good; unfathomable...
Dear reader, I pray that you will seek Him out as well. You were made to. It's likely you've spent your whole life avoiding Him, or not properly knowing Him just as I had. Please understand though... as much as it pains my heart to know this, and as much as it probably pains the heart of God whose will it is "that none should perish", Jesus Christ is the ONLY ONE who has paid our penalty for our sin so that we can escape the judgment. And Jesus Christ ALONE is the only one who was capable of living a sinless life so that righteousness could be gifted to us.
"...the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction..."
Romans 3:22
That's right, there is NO favourtism with God. Anyone from anywhere at anytime can be saved. But none of us can save ourselves by keeping the Law of the Commandments because as we've already established, all of us sin and none of us is righteous...
"Now it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law, for “The righteous shall live by faith.”"
Galatians 3:11
It's by the grace of God, through the faith He grants us which makes us righteous, and this is all a free gift we must be willing to humbly accept. You read the first half of Romans 6:23 earlier, but this is the entire verse:
"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 6:23
I pray you accept this free gift that is offered. We are able to refuse it, but you know in your spirit what the eternal result of that is... God's supernatural and spiritual laws require we come to Him by only one way. And not only is this faith required for us to live in relationship with God, but it's also a requirement so that we can live on mission for God. By true faith alone in the One True God, the pre-eminent Christ, has been the only way since mankind was first created. There is no other way...
"Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
John 14:6
“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."
Matthew 7:13-14
Dear reader, please do not misunderstand the message of the Gospel. It is not merely a 'neat' thing that "works for me and makes me happy"... It is not the equivalent of a rewarding pastime like golfing with friends or feeding homeless! The Gospel is for everyone and acceptance of it is the only way to have the eternal life I've described while escaping eternal damnation! Oh yes, it is true; MANY out there are having supernatural experiences apart from the Truth of Christ, but that is because satan is a deceiver and has some, albeit LIMITED supernatural powers! He's been at work since creation began luring men and women into the invention of false ideologies and philosophies and religious systems which CAN NOT SAVE! The devil's even deceived many into creating false Christs!
"For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect."
Matthew 24:24
"But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed."
Galatians 1:8-9
"For if someone comes and proclaims another Jesus than the one we proclaimed, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or if you accept a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it readily enough... And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds."
2 Corinthians 11:4, 14-15
In none of them is their an infinite Saviour akin to Christ!
"Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.
"See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ."
Colossians 2:6-8
Again, please if you are having a hard time believing, take the time to grow your humility as described above while seeking the Lord through reading the New Testament of the bible and by going to Him in prayer, begging for His mercy, and He will be merciful! In time He will reward your faith just as promised!
"You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:13
If you had once started to seek after the Lord, but then got caught up with the pursuits of worldly passions and things like I had, and have been deceived by our spiritual enemy to not follow after God as I had, here are His Words for you:
"Therefore say to them, Thus declares the Lord of hosts: Return to me, says the Lord of hosts, and I will return to you, says the Lord of hosts."
Zechariah 1:3
He loves you more than you can imagine. And there is only one way to start that journey of understanding; by faith.
Dear reader, please think back to the incredible circumstances above that linked together before me which God HIMSELF had orchestrated so that I would be brought back to Him... Now reflect on how you came to this blog and KNOW that God has planned this out since the beginning of time having all events follow another until the birth of your parents, then their meeting one another, and then the birth of you, right down to this moment... He is calling you to Himself and out of His love for you has been guiding all of these events so that you may be saved!
"And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us..."
Acts 16:26-27
As mentioned before, testimonies on YouTube will also help to compel you towards a saving knowledge of the Truth. There are also some fantastic faith-based movies that have been released in the last few years which depict accurately what it actually looks like to follow the Creator and Lord of all that is. The most recent film has just come out this past week; Do You Believe.
Some other well known and inspiring films have come from Sherwood Pictures production company (which started in a church in Georgia with their first film costing only $23,000). Their next film, War Room comes out this August.
But please...
"Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!"
Psalm 34:8
If the Words of God have been used by Him already and you know this Gospel to be true, you can come to your heavenly Father right now in a prayer perhaps like the following:
Heavenly Father; thank you so much for the faith you have gifted me with to believe Your Word. Thank you for showing me the depths of my sin and its ugliness. Thank you for showing me how it has hurt you and that I must turn from it. Thank you for a new heart that makes me want to do what is good and avoid what is evil in your sight. Thank you for a heart that desires to serve you, for you are my rightful Lord. You made me special for a unique purpose you will reveal to me as I follow you, and you alone made a way that I could have a relationship with you. By Christ's death I know my penalty is paid. By Christ's blood I know my sins are washed away and I am clean and free from the pain of guilt and shame. By Christ's righteousness I know that in Him I too am righteous. By His resurrection, I know that I too have eternal life. Thank you Jesus.
In your name I pray;
Amen
Dear reader, I pray that you have been compelled by the Holy Spirit to pray that prayer as a confirmation of the new birth He has done within you. Allow Him to lead you in this life and you will reap the rewards of that and they will be wonderful. There is still an enemy out there that will try to lead you astray, and many who seek God, yes even thinking they are following Jesus Christ, are led astray by our demonic enemies. The way to know we are not being deceived is to "test the spirits" (1 John 4:1), and the truest test is no, not to go by our feelings because although we are given a new heart and are a 'new creation' (2 Corinthians 5:17), we are still dwelling in this flesh which is prone to temptation... but to weigh everything against what God tells us in His Word, the Holy Bible (and yes, you can trust that this infinitely powerful and loving God has protected this 'love letter' of instructions and promises and encouragement and salvation to get to us in truth and wholeness - despite what the deceived have tried to tell you). Any guidance from God that you feel in your heart or hear whispered supernaturally to your spirit will NEVER contradict His heart and will which is revealed through scripture in its entirety. So do begin reading it, and like the 'bread of life' eat of it daily, and like 'living water', drink of it often.
You are a 'new babe' (1 Peter 2:2-3), so gather with mature believers who have been saved before you. I know, I know... the 'church' seems like a daunting place. Maybe you've been hurt there before as many have. Well, the church is filled with broken people who needed a Saviour just as you have. So you will find they will not be perfectly like Jesus Christ yet (everyone should be submitting to Him so that by the Spirit they can be empowered to try though...). There are also those who've been in the church for years but have not grown since their new birth (Hebrews 5:12). And there will even be those who were never born again, but come out of obligation or false religion or tradition or to try and appease that anxious guilty conscience within them without actually believing in the Gospel and submission to God. They are therefore not of God, and they are often either neutral or very negative to the health of the church and new believers (Matthew 13:24-30).
So yes, new believer, you will be hurt. I have been also, but by my strength in the Lord, He caused me to persevere and I am now used often in my church, serving, and encouraging, and ministering. It is the greatest life! Do not be deceived into believing you can do this life in Christ apart from His Body. Trust me, He will only give you enough grace for so long to do that, because His desire and purpose is for you to be a part of the body (Hebrews 10:24-25). Eventually if you've chosen to do it alone, He will permit you to feel the difficulty so that you will turn to the church. If you do not, you may likely be tempted slowly over time away from the truth that has been given to you and you will be drawn from God back into a life lost in sin (1 John 2:19)...
So do find a church that teaches from the bible and worships God "in spirit and in truth" (John 4:23). You can use google to find one near by. If they have a website, they'll have a "Statement of Faith" posted. This will tell you if they're believing properly. Or you can call or visit the pastor and interview him or an elder.
A conservative, "evangelical" church is where you will grow, and where you want to be. Hopefully they will be a church "on mission", meaning they are serving under the leading of God to share the gospel with others while showing them His unconditional love for them. Hopefully they believe in discipleship as well and have people actively discipling one another (often through weekly 'bible study' groups, but hopefully also in more personal ways where there is trust and transparency, openness and accountability, love and acceptance, and great wisdom and teaching). Just be in prayer that God will lead you to the right church and bring mature believers alongside you who will walk with you and love you, and He will. He will help you seek out those who love Him and follow Him and are filled with His Spirit so that you will have the full joy of abiding in Him and bearing fruit while doing His mission.
And do get baptized as a public proclamation that you have "died to self" like Jesus Christ died on the cross; being buried beneath water as He was buried in a tomb; being raised out of the water; just as He was resurrected to Life. This incredible and joyous symbol declares the work the Holy Spirit has already done in you, and that you are indeed one in Christ and are following in His footsteps.
His way is always the best and while you read His Word realize that every "Shall" should be done, and every "Shall not" should be avoided. Even though eternal life is a free gift, there is a mission you accept with it. It is not a mission of obligation, but a mission a believer is compelled into by their supernatural gratitude and love. Anyone who is truly born again will not be able to help but tell others of the goodness and richness that is in Christ Jesus.
"Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:16-20
And rest peacefully in this; if you have truly believed, your salvation is secure and you will NEVER lose that. It is an act of God and HE keeps you in eternal life through thick and thin! Amen!!!
"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one.”
John 10:27-30
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? ...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:35, 37-39
Francis Chan and David Platt are two pastors sold out to God and living in submission to Him. They have written a few books that are incredibly inspiring and encouraging, and could serve as great accompaniment to your bible reading and study.
Together they've also developed a free resource called the Multiply Movement to help believers train up new believers and do the Great Commission Jesus Christ talked of just a moment ago.
Lastly, one of the most down to earth and practical biblical teachers that has helped me grow is Chip Ingram of Living on the Edge Ministry. His free sermon mp3's are an indispensable resource that a follower of Christ can listen to on their drive to work, while they're doing housework, or whenever they've got a moment to listen and think while needing to be hands free. So awesome.
Specifically for women, Erin Campbell's ministry provides free mp3 sermons as well, and I've listened to her from time to time and she is a fantastic resource. A great book and testimony to help you understand your true worth, and combat all the negative messages you're bombarded with by this deceived world system is called, "I'm No Angel: From Victoria's Secret Model to Role Model" by Kylie Bisutti. Francis Chan's wife, Lisa, also has a valuable teaching series called, "True Beauty". And Chip Ingram's wife, Teresa also has a fantastic audio series called, "Precious in His Sight".
I pray that this helps you in your walk with the Lord. Feel free to contact me for any questions or additional help, and I will do my best. The internet is ripe with valuable information, but sadly, it is also FILLED with deceitful misinformation as well (even if it's done by well-meaning people by accident).
God bless you!
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